jerkidiot:

kraft-mac-and-cheese:

90% percent of the time i’m “going to the bathroom” is just me in there trying to get away from people’s shit

then why would you go to the bathroom

(Source: scarilyrad, via i-m-d-e-p-r-e-s-s-e-d)

xburningxflame:

。
ultrafacts:

thescoon:

sir-hathaway:

gryffinpoor:

dudemanbropants:

gryffinpoor:

thepreciousthing:

the-ordinary-nerd:

ask-or-rp-with-will-petrisous:

squad16:

finalellipsis:

bestnatesmithever:

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

I rarely reblog stuff like this, but this is so damn clever and hilarious.

(Source) for the fact in the picture

ultrafacts:

thescoon:

sir-hathaway:

gryffinpoor:

dudemanbropants:

gryffinpoor:

thepreciousthing:

the-ordinary-nerd:

ask-or-rp-with-will-petrisous:

squad16:

finalellipsis:

bestnatesmithever:

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

I rarely reblog stuff like this, but this is so damn clever and hilarious.

(Source) for the fact in the picture

unfollower:

i automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive

(via music-and-razorblades)

o-ohmy-senpai:

If you don’t worship your girls ass what are you even doing

(via music-and-razorblades)

bird: chirps
me: wtf what tab is that coming from